hi all. this blog is hitting a deep and steady decline i fear. so much work and school that i was struggling finding time enough to reflect and so had little to write about. anyway, i do miss writing so much that i thought i would write just for me and hope for the best. so far my job is just great. i love the kids. they are amazing and inspire me to be better and do better. school is still rocking and i am psyched to be done training tomorrow and back to only working two nights a week vs everyday. my own kids i've missed so much that i could cry and tonite my daughter told me that she missed my whole self. i may never forget that one. coming home is just all good.
one thing i've not done is had much time for me and guess what--i am liberated. finally freedom from the bondage of my own thoughts. helping others--no matter how you do it or where--really is, at least for me, the path to true happiness and freedom. i realize that if i can stay with doing the right thing and being there for others i dont get so anxious, worried, and all consumed with feeling sorry for myself. i dont think i am alone in this either. of course i still do need to find time to take care of myself and reflect but if i can learn to balance my life so that i get both--well that seems to me to really be the goal.
tonite as i was finally able to think for a minute--i thought about my new clients and how they are all tucked in to nice clean beds, after eating a nice dinner, meditating, having snack and going to sleep. my thoughts return to the people i know in vt that are not having that same experience. i cant help but think that everyone deserves this. i think i wish i could create one giant huge residential facility for families to be taken care of. i think why is it so hard to stop cycles that dont help anyone and are deeply destructive? i promise myself and you guys reading that i wont stop asking these questions of myself or anyone else. why? because we all deserve better and together maybe we can just get there. xx
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