contrast and compare

hi all. when i was back in college i used to write lots of papers. some teachers let us pick how we wanted to write our papers and my two favorite papers to write were either contrast and compare or appearance vs reality. it only makes sense that more then ten years later i am still dealing with similar themes. lately, i have been struggling with comparing myself to other people. i end up feeling bad as i judge my own internal and very real life to what other peoples lives look like. i dont know why i do this but i know that the advent of things like facebook make it way easier to view the outside of peoples lives. though i continually remind myself that what things look like is just that, it is still a trap that i dont mind admitting that i fall into. the question is: why? and what do i do about it?

why? maybe that is easy. maybe we all are interested in how other people live, what makes them tick, etc. realizing that what people choose to show eveveryone is just that probably is also important. the other thing i suspect that goes on with me and this stuff is that i wonder what other people think of me. a long time ago i heard: what other people think of me is none of my business. a long time after that i started really trying to think this way. on most days i can get back to this simple idea.

the other thing that stands out to me is comparing myself to other people is really the symptom of a problem that i have with myself and really says nothign about anything or anyone else. the life i have today is full and beautiful. i love my family, my home, and my new job. i miss my old friends but am starting to make new ones. i am growing and it feels exciting and good.

the old me--the one that never felt comfortable or authentic is gone most of the time and in her place is this new person who is basically just fine. my old habits return but my reactions are changing. i see this as growth, slow coming but happening. i heard the other night that our feelings dont change but our responses to them can become less destructive or maybe not destructive at all.

i'll end this by trying to insert a poem that i heard tonite. maybe it is a little hokey but i love the message. i am not so into the god thing but i like it if you insert higher power or just you and yourself at the very end.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa